Creating Room for Individuality

For most of my adult life, I was taught to pour myself into others. To give. To serve. To compromise. And while there is beauty in selflessness and love in togetherness, I’ve come to learn, sometimes the hard way, that creating room for individuality isn’t selfish. It’s sacred.

I was married for over seven years. During that time, I wore the many hats that come with being a wife and mother. I showed up. I stayed, even when staying came at the cost of silencing my gut and second-guessing my spirit. There were moments I felt lost, moments where I could no longer distinguish where I ended and where “we” began.

Eventually, I left. It wasn’t an impulsive decision. It was a slow, painful reckoning with the truth that I had outgrown the space I was in, and that I needed to rediscover myself outside of the roles I had been assigned. Leaving wasn’t just about the end of a marriage; it was about beginning again as me.

Later, I reconnected with an old friend. Our bond was built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect, something that felt refreshing and freeing. I eventually had another child, and for the first time, I navigated motherhood from a place of groundedness. There was no performance, no need to be perfect. Just presence. Just me.

This chapter of my life has been about reclaiming who I am, not just as a mother, not just as a co-parent, but as Elsa. A woman who is allowed to have dreams, make mistakes, laugh loudly, take space, and say no. A woman who understands that she can love deeply and still have boundaries. That choosing herself is not rebellion, it’s wisdom.

Creating room for individuality doesn’t mean we abandon relationships. It means we show up to them more whole. It’s about making space for who we are outside of our titles and responsibilities. It’s about asking: What brings me joy? What do I need? Who am I when no one is watching?

If I’ve learned anything, it’s this: when you honor your individuality, you give others permission to do the same. You raise children who know that their voice matters. You attract relationships that don’t ask you to shrink. And most importantly, you stop waiting for permission to be yourself.

To anyone feeling lost in the roles they’ve taken on, this is your reminder: You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to begin again. You are allowed to be fully, beautifully, you!