Platonic Love: A Social Experiment on Expressing Affection with Close Male Friends.

Is there any woman in the room who has a man as a close platonic friend? I bet I'm not the only one who prefers having close male companions as compared to female friends. It has nothing to do with not being a feminist, even though my therapist, Peter, might attribute it to unresolved trauma.

That is not the case with this entire story. Allow me to take you back to where it all began. Being a communication specialist, it's safe to say that expressing my thoughts and feelings comes easily. This includes but is not limited to, occasionally telling my close platonic male besties that I love them.

Yes, I do that. The reaction is always a mix of confusion, light laughter, and an awkward acknowledgment of the same. It still puzzles me why this happens because I have known them for a better part of my life.

Curious about this, I decided to conduct a social experiment. Focus group discussions? My WhatsApp groups. I focused on three groups: Daystar Alumni group, Muhoroni Pamoja, and my apartment building group. It was important to select groups with different demographics to reach a fair conclusion.

I posed the question:

"So this evening, I am conducting a social experiment. Ladies, do you tell your male platonic friends that you love them?

Men, would you be comfortable with your 'mpoa' (significant other) telling her male platonic friends that she loves them?

Hayaaa, let's discuss."

Right from the start, the responses were funny, genuine, and, most importantly, reflected a core belief that many Kenyans base their decisions on. According to my findings, a good number of women have occasionally told their male platonic friends that they love them, while the majority of the male population in these three groups were against their girlfriends expressing love to their platonic friends. "It might open the door to unrequited romantic feelings."

In contrast to the significant number of women with very close platonic friends, most males in the focus groups believed that their male counterparts were incapable of being just friends with a woman. Their description of such men can only be equated to a fox in sheep's clothing.

A quick conversation with Faith Mitei, a Counseling Psychologist at Foi Counseling Centre, revealed why expressing your affection towards your friends might just be the boost your friendship needs.

"Men and women can absolutely express 'I love you' platonically. Love isn't limited to romantic or sexual relationships but can exist as deep emotional bonds in friendships. It's psychologically healthy and can enhance the connection," she stated.

No matter how awkward it gets, I plan to keep telling my close male friends how much I love them because what's the alternative? Writing it in their eulogy when it's too late?

With this in mind, the question still remains. Would you tell your male platonic friends that you love them? Go ahead and do so. Share their response in the comment section.

Below are screenshots of some of the responses I received from the focus groups.

Warning; they are incredibly hilarious.